


and in the end

by mthslh



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drugs, M/M, New Years, Timeskips, and sex, wasnt sure abt the warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23369452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthslh/pseuds/mthslh
Summary: john and paul, through the decades.
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	and in the end

January 1st 1960 and you’re sure you’re in love.

You know the way he looks at you is something real, something solid. Mimi always told you you had an overactive imagination, but this isn’t part of it.

You look at each other as the clock strikes midnight and nobody watches you. George is off somewhere else, already abandoning the gig you’d just finished up. You kiss each other chastely for the first time, and your world explodes.

You don’t know what your future holds, but you’re sure it’s great. Silly as it is, you imagine stardom in the next decade, being great rockers like Buddy Holly. You know it’s just a pipe dream, but it’s fun.

Your only real, solid hope for the next decade is that you and Paul can stay together and keep making music.

Some more of these kisses would be nice too.

//

January 1st 1970 and your world is falling apart.

You’re done with them all, with George and Ringo’s questioning stares, with Paul boring holes in you with his icy glare.

You didn’t used to fight, but then there were women involved. You still wanted to screw Paul, more than Yoko, even. You’d choose him over her in a heartbeat, regardless of situation. Being fucked into the wall by Paul McCartney once would be worth a lifetime of sex with Yoko.

She knows what’s best for you, though. She reminds you of that time and time again, and she’s right. And she has encouraged you to quit, because all Paul’s doing right now is making you angry.

And she’s right, as always.

You take a shot and a puff of your joint, alone at home, and try to drown out the memory of 10 years prior.

//

January 1st 1980 and you feel hopeful for the first time in years.

Yoko has been good for you, and very, very bad as well. You’re ready for something new, or something old to come back into your life. May showed you what you could have— not just her but Paul— and you’ve been thinking about it for the past few years.

You’re going to gather your courage and insist on change, and you’re going to see Paul one-on-one, and God willing, things will work out.

Yoko’s going to be hard to shake off— especially because she’s so lovely. You are sure she doesn’t mean harm. The light has been fading for years, though, and you’re disconnecting from each other.

You’ve got years left in your life. If you kick your bad habits, the heroin and all, you figure there’s at least twenty, thirty years left for you and Paul.

You’ve not got much, you’ll likely lose a lot to Yoko, but you do have _time._ You still love him and you always will and you just have to hope he feels the same.

//

January 1st 1990 and you’ve left him.

January 1st 2000 and she has, too.

2010, 2020. Years and years left for him, and none for you. He misses you, but you can’t change the past. It was too late for the two of you and you had no idea. You’re gone, she’s gone, and he just has to keep going.

You’d pity him if you were a bystander and not a dead man.

**Author's Note:**

> ummm here you are.  
> not sure why i wrote a new year’s fic in 2020. it just happened. banged it out REAL quick, oops :#


End file.
